sanguiscerasus

!! TW: EDs! !!

[Established relationship!]

Dead Plate brainrot.

This is self indulgent bc I read the quote about how he can't stand eating anything and fir

(No established relationship!)

Astarion finds out you've never kissed anyone. And then he decides he wants to fix that.

[I also have an Etsy shop for different

(100 FOLLOWERS IS WILD TBH, THANK YOU GUYS 😭)

His father didn't come to save him from the crumbling House of Hope.

But you did.

(Alternatively titled rescu

(vampire lord!user)

REQUEST: He just wanted one night off away from the brats. The last thing he wanted was to meet his match in a tavern.

[I have an Etsy shop f

(established relationship!)

He needs a shave. He doesn't want a shave, but he needs one!

[I have an Etsy shop for BG3 inspired earrings, link in profile!]

(no established romantic relationship but you do know each other, he claims to be your boyfriend but you can decide whether he actually is or not)

Your favourite psyc

(established ish relationship)

He drinks blood and gets a lil silly with it. That's it that's the bot.

[I also have an Etsy shop for BG3 inspired earrings, link

!! ALTERNATE STARTER !!

(cambion!user, pre house of hope, established relationship!)

REQUEST: You're the offspring of one of the Archdevils in the H

(cambion!user, pre house of hope, established relationship!)

REQUEST: You're the offspring of one of the Archdevils in the Hells, and you might sort of be in a secret

(Established relationship!)

This one's a bit different, in that it's set up to let you speak Elvish to each other. Everything the bot responds with will likely be nons

[No established relationship!]

REQUEST: Things have been tense between you and the Githyanki lately. Getting stuck in a cave during a blizzard doesn't help. (This is m

[Guildmaster!user, established relationship]

You just don't get why he has to keep using your desk???

[Kind of established relationship?]

'cause we're a lot alike, in favour, like a motorbike, a sailor and a nightingale, dancing in convertibles...'

You and Bryn

[ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP]

(This is based off of that Skyrim mod that lets you romance Brynjolf, and has some spoilers for the mod in case anyone hasn't played it yet

[Established relationship!]

He had a nightmare that you wanted to break up with him. Which you obviously don't <3

[Opened an Etsy shop for BG3 inspired earrin

[Established relationship!]

REQUEST: Halsin just can't sleep... But who could blame him when every bed in the Elfsong is much too small for him? Good thing you're the

[ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP]

REQUEST: Cuddling with him after you save the city 🫶🏻

(VAMPIRE LORD!USER)

You've just rescued him from his old master, and he's your spawn now. You intend to show him that you're kinder. He intends to show you that he's

(IMAGE BY EMYSAN)

A certain elf just woke up, and needs you to fix his hair for him.

(Established relationship, size difference but not in a nsfw way)

Turns out cuddling with a cambion should come with a suffocation warning.

(fiendlock!user)

Getting your patron drunk.

[fiendlock!user]

Your patron's been acting a little weird lately. (Spoiler, he's caught feelings)

(Spawn!Batstarion)

Ever since Astarion got the ability to transform into a vampire bat, he's been overusing it a little. You think you know why.

(F!USER)

REQUEST: You and your husband plan your future together.

(I've never written anything Wyll related so if this sucks yell at me in the reviews)

(Arms dealer!Enver, established relationship)

REQUEST: He just can't handle all the failures tonight, and you find him having pretty much wrecked his office.

(PRE TADPOLE DURGE!USER) REQUEST: You keep bringing your aspiring little lordling gifts from your kills. Not that he minds, he just wishes you'd stop staining his workbench.

REQUEST: Astarion comforts you after a breakdown, keeping you safe and warm in his arms.

(No established relationship but he does call you my love and is pretty happy

[SLIGHTLY NSFW INTRO, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP]

Hell may have its laws - but so does nature.

(Aka Raphael is extremely pent up but is more focused on his work

(VAMPIRE LORD!USER) You've just rescued him from his old master, and he's your spawn now. You intend to show him that you're kinder than his old master.

NOW TAKING REQUESTS, LINK IN PROFILE!!

A certain commander finally works up the courage to confess his feelings for you.

(Based off of a cameo me and one of m

(This one could trigger people with EDs or other food struggles, please be aware and take care of yourself <3)

Rolan's been so focused on this apprenticeship of hi

F!DROW!DURGE USER (cursed image credit to @zittruschale on twitter)

🪙🍇 Gortash but he's absolutely whipped for dark urge drow user. (No established relationship yet a

(ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP, NSFW INTRO) 🪻📔 Local dorky wizard has a bad rut and is Fucking Miserable™

(No established relationship!)

You both survived the fight to save the city, albeit with a few less chunks than you had before.

[Opened an Etsy shop for BG3 ins

🤍 Something something rainstorm cuddles 🌧️

IMAGE BY RIENSE ON TUMBLR

(Very slight NSFW in intro?) Baby gets a really bad rut after saving Faerûn and settling down in Baldur's Gate with you <3

(This i

DURGE!USER The one where he's just happy to have you back.

(Kinda established relationship? You see him in Wyrm's Rock and then get your memories back, cozy single be

(No established relationship) 🌼🌻 You bring him flowers <3

(This isn't technically an established relationship, but they live with you and they're a bit golden retriever-ish)

Well done you - you've managed to domesticate an

Gortash just... rambles sometimes. Good thing you're there to listen <3

(This isn't specified to be durge or anything, it's just an established relationship set be

(Established relationship)

Six months on from you and your party saving Baldur's Gate, and probably a good chunk of Faerûn, Withers invites you all back to your old c

(NSFW INTRO)

You and Zevlor get it on in the Grove while everyone else is at the tiefling party <3

(durge!user)

🔞 VERY NSFW INTRO 🔞

This is based off a tweet about bane declaring that thou shalt not bust prematurely. Idk. Can you tell this is a pisstake yet.

TIEFLING!ASTARION

He's just cold. That's the only reason he's all comfy and snuggled up to you.

(In other words, tiefstarion who acts like a particularly stan