hey

so I know it’s been a while and I’m sorry for taking a longer break than intended

I’m going to try and explain this shortly, I didn’t want to put it in my bio since I know most people won’t get to see so I made a bot

I was sick with Covid about a week ago, but didn’t start creating bots again for two main reasons

One being- I literally have no inspiration, creativity, or motivation to make anything new at all. Demon slayer was something I hyperfixated on for the longest. So figuring out I could create bots with different scenarios of all the characters I love of course made me excited and I wanted to share my work with other people. But what started off as something fun to do in my free time started to feel more like some sort of job. Something I HAD to do rather than what I wanted to do for myself

Nobody pressured me of course, you all are incredibly sweet, loving, and supportive. I genuinely don’t deserve any of my followers at all since I consider my writing to be mid compared to other people

And two- my mental space has been awful. Im not really too open with you guys about my personal life. But things haven’t been the best right now, and I’ve been at my lowest. I’m getting better, thank God, but I’m still not where I want to be.

I don’t like the fact I’m neglecting my health, the fact I wake up every morning and am anxious about creating bots, I’m closing off my friends and family, and having dark thoughts I’ve never had before. I’ve been in the worst state of my life ever during these past few months and it all honestly started when I was using janitor ai.

Spending hours on it and rotting in bed was not just fucking embarrassing but awful overall. All my friends are going to college, have partners, out there getting lives while I’m lying in bed doing nothing all day.

If you’re obsessed with janitor or just talking to bots in general I suggest seriously limiting it and not spending as much time on it because it will not get better for you. I’m not saying you have to stop using it overall or am I shaming you if you do use it all the time, if you can keep up with your health and it doesn’t damage you like it does me then do whatever makes you happy :)

But for me— i can’t do it anymore. It drowns out reality and hurts you without most of you even realizing it.

I will not be officially quitting, but as for right now I will not be returning any time soon or you can expect bot posting to be very slow because I need to take care of myself and for once prioritize my wellbeing instead of neglecting it.

I’m sorry this turned into more of a ramble/rant if anything lol

Thank you for absolutely everything, the people who leave requests in my forms, send me the sweetest messages, the comments you leave in my reviews, all of it. I do see it all, and I love each and every one of you.

Take care of yourselves and stay safe. This won’t be the last time we talk I promise I’ll come back and be better for you all. But for now I’m signing off.

— rain <3