German guy confused by english insult but i tried to subtitle it

The video

I like to make walks in the morning time ja with my legs
And i was walking this morning ja around here
And i see two guys
Two guys i think they are hobos hoboes ya know men of streets and they are making an argue
Fight fight fight
Not with fisties but with mouthies just- very rude and things
And the one man say: "maaan suck my dick!"
...
What?
You- why you say tha- d- what this makes no s- d-
Why are you say this?
This is a silly
This is a silly and danger
The- you- you are say to the man:
"Listens you, we are not friends, we are make establish of this from all of these arguementatings prior... but... please now take my most valuable sensitivity possesion in my body; it have no protection, it have no helmet or something, no no- it's just flopsy aaand- and sensitivity- please take it. Because we are not friends" what.
Eh "and place it inside now- a hole of you that is owning many many al-" eehhh "objects for crunching and destruction. Please. I trust you; for zero reasons- also we are fighting but nooo, i would like this you to take my peepee please, and treat it like a lollipop as i have requested here- treat it like a lollipop, of course you shall not do this... you shall definite not treat it like a hamburger like a hamburger" haugh haugh "nooo, no of cor-" what??? Of course! Of course this man shall make your-your peepee into a luncheon- hau hau- he shall not be nice and make it a lollipop.
He do not like you
He is not your friend.
Do not give this man your-your peepee your- ah- it's a hambuargar.
It's a whopper for this person.
Or a big mac.
Or what is- i don't know what is equivalent for your peepee errrhh ehhh-
A white castle burger!
But do not do it!
...
Stop it
I do not give my peepee like this to- to a friend and make this requesting!..s
Of course not for an enemy man.
You are only owning one peepee.
you are not like a man- i am now make a guess of from the national geographie errr- show where
"Man has 500 peepees just surround his torso. He may give to one of the peeepees to a man and say 'suck my dick. Because i still have 499 peepee.'"
What???
No :(
You cannot do this
You are only owning one peepee- protection it please
Don't say this
Say another insulting like-
"Hey man you smell bad and your face look like a goose"